some e-mail spam from my dear friend Jen.
Dear Fellow Constituent:
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages
and accepting donations. The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to
The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, you are
required to make a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with
The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
The Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board,
dice, coins, and straws.
Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate
and view the President's accomplishments.
The library walls will be engraved with quotes by George W. Bush:
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
" If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
"No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that
one word is "to be prepared."
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in
"The future will be better tomorrow."
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some
fantastic pictures." (Said during an education photo-op.)
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it."
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."...George W. Bush to
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!